Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ugly people sure do ruin things
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we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
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No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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