Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
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Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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