Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
