Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
