you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
