Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
