my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
