doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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