Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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