actually, I'm a sock model
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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