he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
