Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize