Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
