Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
