yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I got inside last night via doggy door
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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