You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
