I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
