You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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