I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
