I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
