First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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