Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
