nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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