I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
