So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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