GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
