but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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