But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
