$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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