that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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