If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
