It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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