I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize