talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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