walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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