Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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