Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
