I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just want to make out with him forever
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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