i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
