He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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