how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize