Me. At least after what I've been through.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
