I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
soo... how was my night?
Someone signed my nipple.
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