His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
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It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
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He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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