maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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