I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
a search helicopter?!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
