They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
