oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
