So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
