I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
