My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
