I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize