Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
