Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
