Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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